Extraordinary Machine

May Day: The Death of Osama bin Laden

Mon, 02 May 2011 10:30:00 -0400

Before I begin, let me be clear: I do not believe that Osama bin Laden was a good person. I do believe that he fought for what he believed to be right, but did so in a way which no one can defend. He is responsible, in part, for the tragedy which took place on 9/11, and those events are surely reprehensible, horrific, and utterly inhumane.

However, the events that took place on Twitter, Facebook, and on the Boston Common last night were not at all warranted.

Statuses and tweets about how happy people were that Osama had been killed were everywhere. People in the Common celebrated and shouted things like “Yes We Can” and “Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye!” followed by cheers of glee. And throughout all of this, people began to discuss how proud they were to be Americans.

One status last night read, “I have never been more proud of America.”

Really? There is nothing else that has occurred within your lifetime that has made you more proud to live in this country than the day we killed a man?

Let me name some of the dates that I take pride in. Dates that make me truly proud to live in this country:

May 17, 2004: Same-sex marriage is made legal in Massachusetts, making it the first state and sixth jurisdiction in the world to recognize my right to marry whomever I chose

November 7, 2006: Deval Patrick is elected as Massachusetts’ first African American Governor

January 4, 2007: Nancy Pelosi becomes the first female Speaker of the House

January 20, 2007: Hillary Clinton announces her bid for the White House

February 5, 2008: I cast my first vote, for Hillary Clinton, after turning 18 on January 21, 2008

June 7, 2008: Hillary Clinton withdraws from the Democratic presidential primary and addresses her supporters, stating “Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about 18 million cracks in it!”

November 4, 2008: Barack Obama is elected as the first African American President

April 3, 2009: Same-sex marriage is legalized in Iowa

September 1, 2009: Same-sex marriage is legalized in Vermont. It is the first time that such rights were granted through the legislature, as opposed to through the courts

December 18, 2009: Same-sex marriage is legalized in Washington, DC

January 1, 2010: Same-sex marriage is legalized in New Hampshire

March 23, 2010: Congress passes a universal health care bill, ensuring that everyone has access to medical care

December 22, 2010: President Obama signs the repeal of the DADT policy

April 5, 2011: MA Governor Deval Patrick nominates Barbara Lenk to the Supreme Judicial Court, the first openly gay person to ever be nominated

These are dates that make me proud of my state and of my country. Not the murder of a man.

Celebrating and taking pride in the death of anyone is terrible. It simply perpetuates the hatred and malice that Osama used as a means to an end. Last night should have been a time for reflection - a peaceful vigil commemorating those who we lost on 9/11, the soldiers who gave their lives overseas, and the many innocent civilians who have lost their lives from the violence in the Middle East. We must remember that the War in Iraq has taken the lives of over 100,000 innocent Iraqi civilians. We must remember that we too have blood on our hands. It’s easy not to think about that because we don’t see it. We have compassion for the victims of 9/11 and our soldiers who have been killed in the line of duty as well as their families, and rightly so, but we too often forget the toll that this is taking on those in the midst of all this violence.

We live in an ethnocentric society where it is very difficult for people to have compassion and sympathize with those in the Middle East who are simply trying to live their lives amongst more violence than any of us will see in a lifetime, a great deal of which is our own government’s doing.

What I experienced last night was horrific and truly says something about our nation’s character. Celebrating violence only creates violence. It makes it acceptable. I will never, and never have, condoned violence or war and will never ever celebrate the death of another human being, no matter what their crime or atrocities. Because it simply promotes hatred and more violence.

Osama bin Laden was a terrible man. He should have stood trial for crimes against humanity for the atrocities he conspired. But the cycle of invasion, war, hatred, and violence must stop somewhere. It must stop with us. We must learn from the peaceful revolutions which took place in India under Gandhi or to the more recent revolution in Egypt which also largely relied on peaceful demonstrations and civil disobedience. To those who say war is the only answer, that killing Osama was the right thing to do, I say LOVE IS LOUDER.

And I will never be convinced of anything else.

I aspire to be this awesome.

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 19:59:41 -0500

I aspire to be this awesome.

Oscars!

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 14:14:07 -0500

Despite the fact that every year my Oscar predictions are wrong, here we go:

Best Picture

• Black Swan
• The Fighter
• Inception
• The Kids are All Right
• Toy Story 3
• The King’s Speech
• The Social Network
• True Grit
• Winter’s Bone
• 127 Hours

Best Actor

• Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
• Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
• James Franco, 127 Hours
• Jeff Bridges, True Grit
• Javier Bardem, Biutiful

Best Actress

• Annette Bening, The Kids are All Right
• Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
• Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
• Natalie Portman, Black Swan
• Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Best Supporting Actor

• Christian Bale, The Fighter
• Mark Ruffalo, The Kids are All Right
• John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone
• Jeremy Renner, The Town
• Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actress

• Amy Adams, The Fighter
• Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
• Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
• Melissa Leo, The Fighter
• Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Best Original Screenplay

• Mike Leigh, Another Year
• Scott Silver, Paul Tamasay, Eric Johnson, The Fighter
• Christopher Nolan, Inception
• Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg, The Kids are All Right
• David Seidler, The King’s Speech

Best Adapted Screenplay

• Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufroy, 127 Hours
• Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network
• Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, True Grit
• Debra Granik and Anne Rosselini, Winter’s Bone
• John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich, Michael Arndt, Toy Story 3

Various Other Categories

Best Original Score, The Social Network

Best Original Song, Country Strong

Best Art Direction, Alice in Wonderland

Theater as Political Communication

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 13:55:00 -0500

The first time I realized how powerful theater is as a tool for social and political change was during my junior year of high school. I was directing a show called Bang Bang You’re Dead. The show was about a high school shooting. Throughout the play, we hear from the victims of the shooting, the shooter himself, and the administrators at the high school as well as law enforcement officials.

The show is emotionally powerful and communicates a strong anti-violence and anti-bullying message throughout. For this reason, I reunited many members of the cast in April 2009 at a vigil to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the Columbine shootings as well as the life of Carl Walker-Hoover, who committed suicide earlier that month.

We circulated petitions calling for anti-bullying legislation, stricter federal gun regulations, and funding for mental health services in schools. We held signs calling for an end to gun violence, intolerance, and bullying.

Desiree Fiske and Kayla Manzi, two LHS alumni, light candles at the vigil for the Columbine victims and Carl Walker-Hoover on the town common in Ludlow, MA.

In the fall of 2008, my former drama club performed The Laramie Project. It was a huge undertaking, and, although I had graduated, I helped out a great deal on the production. I ended up using their experiences as a basis for one of my first college papers: The Political Communication of The Laramie Project: Hate is NOT a Laramie Value.

The cast and crew of the Drama Fiefdom at Ludlow’s 2008 performance of The Laramie Project

The play, which poses a question similar to that which Romaine Patterson, an actual Laramie resident at the time of the Shepard tragedy, asks in a letter she wrote following the publication of the play: “Each of us has a role, just as Matthew had, and as I have to make the world a better place. My question to you is, when you leave today what will YOU do to make the world a better place? What is your role?”

This question clearly articulates why theater is such a powerful tool for those looking to make social and political change. The actors and script capture the audience’s attention and moves them. It stirs them to action. In the case of The Laramie Project, it makes people want to ensure that such a tragedy will never happen again.

It is my belief that, as the Commonwealth moves forward with putting the new anti-bullying legislation into practice, theater should be used as a tool. I truly believe that, especially middle and high school administrators, should reach out to nearby colleges and their own drama clubs to put on productions that deal with the theme of bullying, violence in schools, and intolerance. Such productions have the ability to move students and teachers to action on these issues. They contain a certain pathos, an emotional appeal, which makes the issue real. They show students the effects of their actions and help them become more self-aware.

I hope to, in my last semester here at Emerson, assemble a cast, crew, and group of writers to produce a show that will showcase the effects of all of these issues: bullying, teen suicide, intolerance, and violence in schools. In addition to performing the show, I would like to include psychology majors or youth service majors from other schools in the area to lead discussion groups with students on these issues.

Hopefully, this goal comes to fruition and can provide help to those students throughout the Greater Boston area who need it most.

I feel that this would be a fantastic way to end my college career - to actually make a difference in the lives of others.

That is all I really hope for. As a victim of bullying and someone who struggles with thoughts of suicide myself, I just hope that I can help prevent others from having to experience what I did.

My Pretty Life

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 01:05:43 -0500

“I am a note, passed back and forth. I get your attention; you open me up and I give you all that I have and, in that moment, I feel that you love me. I have your eyes upon me, your honest attention. And you care about me, you even tell me so and, in the warmth of your affection, I feel at peace. But you only read me for a moment, then you drop me to the floor; I am trash to you. Nothing, worthless, not worth a glance. Maybe you step on me, maybe you kick me to the side. I am dirty and cold, alone on the floor where everyone can see me. When everybody is looking, I am just a scrap of nothing, a crumpled up girl with no purpose. But then, someone else picks me up. And I am at peace again, for this new attention is just as beautiful as the last, just as sweetly warming; but just as before, I am only important for a short while. Soon, and I know it, I will be dropped back to the floor or into the waste basket. To sit and wait for someone else to pick me up. I hope someone will. Maybe one day, somebody will hold onto me, keep me, slip me in between the pages of their life, flatten me out, make me neat and clean again. But until then, I am a note passed back and forth.”

This is a monologue from Pete Clark’s play My Pretty Life. It’s going to be performed by my high school’s drama club in a few weeks.

I can’t help but feel terrible whenever I hear it.

Featured on CBS3 and in an article in The Republican for the...

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 02:09:00 -0500

Featured on CBS3 and in an article in The Republican for the rally for Phoebe Prince tonight!

And, my blog post was picked up by Bully Proof Daily!

Remembering Phoebe Prince...

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 08:19:31 -0500

Tonight I will be standing with countless others on the South Hadley common to remember the tragic suicide of Phoebe Prince. Together, we will not only commemorate her life, but also call for an end to the senseless intolerance and bullying that continues to plague our schools.

However, watching the news coverage of the first anniversary of Miss Prince’s death this morning, I was severely disturbed. Each channel discussed how it was Prince’s death that prompted the legislature to pass anti-bullying legislation. How it was HER death that drew our attention to the issues of bullying and suicide.

The problem is that, like numerous politicians, these news outlets completely neglected the suicide of Carl Walker-Hoover almost a year before Prince, in April 2009. The anchors made no mention of the young boy, who was endlessly bullied for being perceived by his peers as gay or his mother, Sirdeaner Walker, who lobbied hard for bullying laws. Had the media and the government acknowledged the death of Walker-Hoover, and passed anti-bullying legislation sooner, Phoebe Prince’s death may have been prevented. And there would be no need for any vigil tonight.

Over the course of the recent race for district attorney, former state senator Steve Buoniconti assured me that the legislature recognized the tragedy of Walker-Hoover’s death and had begun work on the legislation after his suicide. However, his own actions during the campaign, including being unable to produce any sort of press release or news article commenting Walker-Hoover’s death, as well as the media’s blanket statements this morning about anti-bullying legislation being a direct result of Prince’s death, contradict Buoniconti.

I am not writing this to argue over who should get the credit for the passage of this law. Rather, I am writing this in defense of a young, gay, black boy from Springfield who’s suicide went under-reported by the media and unrecognized by the legislature. I am writing this wishing that our lawmakers hadn’t waited for something to happen to a pretty white girl from suburbia before they acted.

It seems our culture tends to ignore tragedies and flaws until they affect someone who the media and government deem important. This is true in the recent shootings in Arizona as well. I understand the magnitude of this event, but I question the media’s attention to this specific tragedy, as well as our government’s renewed call for debates on gun control and expanded mental health services.

Why didn’t the media cover the shooting in Mattapan, which left four, including a toddler, dead this past September? Why was there no presidential memorial service there? What about the three shootings that all occurred in the same week in Springfield last March? No calls for gun control or mental health funding after those.

As a country, we must view each suicide and each murder as important and tragic. If we act in this way, necessary preventative measures will be put into place sooner and lives will be spared.

I understand that this has become a bit of a rant (and somewhat convoluted). But, if you take nothing else away from this, please, please, remember:

Today is not just about Phoebe Prince. It has to be about everyone who has faced intolerance and harassment. It has to be about everyone who have taken their lives both before and after her for whatever reason. And it has to be about everyone who have been hurt by violence in any way.

Hope that made some sort of sense.

Of Course No One Can Beat Brown...

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 15:19:05 -0500

Boston Mayor Thomas Menino may have had a point this week when he stated that ‘no Democrat’ could beat Scott Brown in 2012. However, his assertion is only valid when one is forced to think inside the box that is the Massachusetts Democratic establishment (white, old men). If we’re only looking at the candidates who have polled poorly in potential match-ups with Brown (Reps Markey, Capuano, and Lynch), then of course there is no Democrat with the ability to defeat Brown. However, when we look to other possible Democratic options, outsiders perhaps, there are many qualified contenders.

Research shows that women must be asked several times before considering a run for office. I suggest we start begging Ms. Sirdeaner Walker of Springfield to run for US Senate in 2012.

Ms. Walker, the anti-bullying activist and human service worker who lost her son to bullying-induced suicide, has not only helped pass a comprehensive anti-bullying law in Massachusetts, without even holding office, but has also met with powerful media and political leaders including Oprah Winfrey, Anderson Cooper, and US Secretary of Education Arne Duncan. She is currently a board member of GLSEN (the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education and a director at a non-profit working on homelessness. She is more than qualified to serve the people of Massachusetts in the US Senate and would be a tireless and passionate advocate for better schools, gay rights, and healthcare.

And, she has the something extra, the star power that the Democratic Party needs to wrestle the seat from Brown.

Once again, we should be begging her to run.

Day Six - A picture of a person you’d love to trade places...

Sun, 09 Jan 2011 16:01:00 -0500

Day Six - A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day

Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low. I’d like to be a confused, adorable straight boy who can play guitar and sing. But just for a day.

Do It Better

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 14:16:00 -0500

“Do It Better”

Cold metal is no antidote
Or drug
For hands
Not when it’s
Not a little tectonic
Who doesn’t have the time
To have sympathy
for Satan?
Is that why you skip your chores
And leave the villages starving
And the apples unpicked
To walk down
Some stairs
And into some power?
They ask if
I’m ok
I tell them
“Yes, It’s just a defense
I’m still in the process
Of changing clothes”
Because they are all far too small
And we’re running out of
Shoes to fill
And roles to play
And hairs to cut
Orchards are prettier unpicked
So here,
Read my lines again

Day Five - A picture of your favorite night Bamboozle 2010, Day...

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 14:06:00 -0500

Day Five - A picture of your favorite night

Bamboozle 2010, Day One. Paramore was perfection.

I miss being able to walk down Newbury and see their beautiful...

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 20:52:33 -0500

I miss being able to walk down Newbury and see their beautiful faces everyday.

Whoever signed Alex and Emma Watson for this Burberry shoot deserves a medal.

Day Four - A picture of you from a year ago. Look at my hair all...

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 20:51:00 -0500

Day Four - A picture of you from a year ago.

Look at my hair all straight and shit! (I’m on the left btw).

The Young John Ohh Appreciation Post

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:39:08 -0500

iwishicouldsleeep:

-savinggrace:

Day Three - A photo of the cast of your favorite TV show Gotta...

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 16:30:00 -0500

Day Three - A photo of the cast of your favorite TV show

Gotta love Olivia Bensen :)

MIT Mistakes

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 18:47:00 -0500

Originally published in The Catharsis, November 2010 Issue

“MIT Mistakes”

          Phil. Frank. Nick. Dylan. Andrew. Dylan II. Michael. Adam. Brian. The summer between my sophomore and junior years of college were riddled with failed relationships and hookups. Every time I met someone who was slightly interested, I clung to them and refused to let go. I was terribly insecure and that was generally my downfall. I’d become attached far too quickly and ultimately end up alone.
          But I didn’t care. Sure, I was a little upset that none of these individuals could handle my specific brand of crazy, but it didn’t matter. Cause I had Jacob waiting for me in Boston.
          Jacob was a friend of Tracey, my friend Christine’s older sister. Once when I was particularly upset and drunk (probably over one of the Dylan’s), I drunk dialed Christine from the front lawn of a party. After explaining the serial dating phase that I was currently stuck in, she suggested that she introduce me to Jacob when I got back to Boston for school. She sent me a link to his Facebook. He had long, curly light brown hair and pale blue eyes. He went to MIT for some kind of engineering I couldn’t understand if I tried. I agreed immediately, and she set things up. Mistake number one.
          So whenever things went wrong with one of the shitty boys from my hometown, I was able to justify things by telling myself, “Well, whatever, I’ve got my MIT boy waiting for me.” I thought about Jacob a lot throughout the summer, hoping that things would be different this time. He was intelligent, older, (hopefully) more mature than me, and beautiful. There was no way he’d treat me like the lovely gays who populated western MA. He’d “get me.”
          A few weeks after returning to school, Christine set a date. We’d meet at her apartment for dinner and drinks and see how things went. From what she told me, it seemed like he was pretty excited to meet me, and I was clearly far too excited to meet him. My roommate and I spent about two hours picking out an appropriate outfit for the occasion and straightening my completely unruly hair. I felt like I looked good. But I lacked any sort of confidence. Knowing this particular quality would make me completely silent for the entire night, I poured half a bottle of Vitamin Water down the sink and filled it with vodka. A bit of alcohol could only improve things. I drank it all on the train ride to Christine’s apartment. Mistake number two.
          A bit buzzed and more than a bit nervous, I rang her doorbell. Christine answered and announced that I was the first of the two of us to arrive. I asked how I looked and nervously flipped through a J Crew catalog while attempting to make small talk with Christine and her sister. Then he walked in. His pictures hadn’t done him the slightest bit of justice. He was completely gorgeous and was clearly, from the way he spoke, more intelligent than I had originally imagined.
          The four of us ate the dinner Tracey and Christine had prepared. Things were quiet. Tracey asked me about myself. Being a bit drunk and attempting to break the ice, I began my life story with my birth in Virginia.
          “Well, I was born in Richmond, Virginia and lived in Beaverdam for the first year and a half of my life…”
          Jacob laughed. I was doing well.
          After dinner, we moved to Jacob’s frat where some sort of party was occurring. Jacob and I got separated from Tracey and Christine, and gone up on the roof. The view was amazing, and he told me about himself. This was all a lot for me to take in at one night, and I was happy listening to him talk about his home in Louisiana and some strange, scientific book he was reading for fun. It was charming. And I knew exactly what was happening.
          He asked for my number before I left in a clumsy yet overpoweringly cute way. I gave it to him, told him we should hang out again soon, and set off fairly drunk for my dorm.
          Over the next week, Jacob and I went on a few dates. One of them was particularly destructive for me. He took me out for sushi at some place he really liked in Kenmore Square. I didn’t have much sushi experience, so I told him to order for me. He laughed at me while I attempted to maneuver my chop sticks. After dinner, we walked back to his frat house, and he brought me up on the roof again.
          We sat looking out at the water while talking. He mentioned that he used to be in the MIT chorus. After about 15 minutes of me bugging him about it, he finally sang. It was too cute. We talked more, and I noticed he kept sighing. I moved a bit closer to him and asked what was wrong. He said nothing. I stood up in front of him and put my hands on his legs.
          “Tell me,” I said, looking down at him.
          “Well, I just wanted to…” he started to say as he kissed me for the first time. That was it for me. It had happened. Three dates in, and I knew that either this would work out or I’d be horribly disappointed and upset. He walked me home and kissed me on the street. No guy had ever done that to me before. I was thrilled. Before I walked away, he asked if I’d want to go with him to Maine that weekend. I was supposed to be getting lunch with my mom in the city that weekend, but I figured I’d have a better time in Maine getting drunk with a frat. I told him I’d love to and called my mom to say we’d need to reschedule. Mistake number three.
          Maine was a whirlwind of problems. …I mean, the first night was awesome. We got drunk, we made out on a dock, and there wasn’t a moment when he didn’t have his arm around me or his hand on mine. I was extremely happy to be far away from the city with a bunch of people who didn’t know me. It made me so much more relaxed.
          That night, things got a bit sexual. This was mistake number four and my ultimate downfall.
          The next morning, he avoided me. When I confronted him about it, I got overly emotional. Mistake number four. Jacob wasn’t an emotional kid, and my crying about being ignored all day was not making me look at all appealing.
          “I’m just confused about last night, I didn’t want to move that fast,” he said. I was completely confused, having felt a bit pressured into the whole thing. We made up and the rest of that day wasn’t all that bad.
          The last day of the trip, I did my best to ignore Jacob. I was still a bit upset with him over everything that had happened. Mistake number five. Passive aggression does not work well.
          “Do you hate me?” he asked that morning.
          “No,” I responded somewhat truthfully. I thought I had regained the power in this struggle. I was wrong.
The two of us barely spoke on the way home. And when we returned to Boston, he didn’t kiss me goodbye on the street or even hug me. I figured things were over. In a few hours, he’d tell me they were.
          I haven’t spoken to Jacob since I returned from Maine. There really isn’t much of a point. I had come off as an obsessive love addict. There’s no way hed give me a second chance. Generally when I reached this point in one of my doomed-to-fail relationships, I’d harbor a huge grudge against the person who had rejected me. I’d find faults in them to justify the end of things.
          But not this time.
          Jacob was next to perfect and no one could say a bad word about him. It wasn’t his fault this relationship had failed. I had made the mistakes…and hopefully, through losing someone as insightful and down to earth as he was, learned something from them.

wishiwasaudrey: I am excited for Country Strong. Like...

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 16:47:59 -0500

wishiwasaudrey:

I am excited for Country Strong.

Like almost irrationally excited.

Fantastic.

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 16:46:25 -0500

Fantastic.

Day Two - A picture of you and the person you’ve been...

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 16:36:00 -0500

Day Two - A picture of you and the person you’ve been closest with the longest.

Bending the rules. Picture of two people I’ve been really close with - Molly and Phil. <3

IC LORAZEPAM 0.5 MG

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 16:28:34 -0500

“IC LORAZEPAM 0.5 MG”

There was champagne and bright lights
And I had headlines and celebrity
Well, that’s what they told me
But there were still fast hearts
Cause I knew the mirror could lie and
newsprint could burn
I saw the shards
Inside the silver was the truth
I never was divine in origin
Snow and moving metal
Made me immaculate
Well, that’s what he told me
But I still get scared
Cause I’m a bit forgetful
I’ve misplaced so much —
Best friends and stuffed bears
First loves and old toys
Dignity and all my masks —
That’s why I worry
You might get lost